Thursday, February 5, 2015

Dear Baby A

My sweet Baby A,
Your sister got her own post, so I thought you deserved one too.  But I waited till a very special day for yours too.  One year ago right now, I was packing up my things to leave work.  After I packed up and made sure the kids were good to go with the substitute, I got in my car and drove to the doctor's office.  Your daddy met me there.  We were SO.EXCITED.  Finally, the day had arrived where we would have them confirm our suspicions- there were 2 boys in there.  We just felt from the beginning you were both boys.  We had our ultrasound and looked away at all the right moments- we were going to be surprised that night with friends.  We saw you two wiggle around like crazy.  I believe you kicked your sister in the head at one point.  And we fell more in love.

That night we opened up the envelopes revealing your genders.  We each drew an envelope and I got yours, my precious Baby A.  I opened it up and smiled.  We knew it.  A boy.  (Incidentally- your daddy opened his and laughed.  A girl!  And he wondered if the one I was holding also said "girl"!) We turned around and sprayed the cans of silly string.  I looked down, delighted to see Baby B was a girl.  And your daddy just glowed with excitement to see he was getting a son.  (Your Papa was so excited too that he finally got a boy after 3 daughters and a granddaughter.)

Precious boy, we knew right away what you would be called.  Your daddy dreamed we would get pregnant and we were to name you Joseph.  So Joseph it was.  And we laughed the other day because Joseph means "god will give"- He was giving us a clue that God would give us even more- a Baby B as well! Your middle name, Nathaniel, means "God gives" or "gift of God".

My sweet little Baby A, you are truly a gift of God.  You are pure sunshine bottled in a wiggly, chubby, edible little body.  I thought your cheeks were big at 2 months.  I had no idea!  I could smush them and kiss them all day long.  Joseph, you wake up smiling and laughing, and you pretty much keep it up all day long.  You make me laugh and cry with how much I delight in you.  You make the best faces- your latest favorites are a cheesy eyes-closed smile, and scrunching up your nose with glaring eyes and sniffing.  Shaking your head "no" is a close third.  You are the BEST big brother.  You are always reaching out a hand to comfort your sister when she's upset.  You put your arm around her, pat her head, and hold her hand (you also pull her hair and steal her pacifier, but mostly you just love her).  You are ALL BOY. You're rough and tumble.  You like to spit and think it's really funny when you burp.  You adore splashing and playing in the water.  You discovered your man-parts the other day in the bath (ugh).  Yuck, but I couldn't help but laugh.  You are fierce and determined.  You will crawl, and maybe even walk, soon because of your determination.  Even through tears you will persevere to reach a toy or your pacifier.

 Mommy was terrified to have a boy.  What do you do with one of those?!  But it took about a millionth of a second for you to totally have your mommy wrapped around your finger.  That first night in the hospital will always be a precious one for me.  It was just you and me, buddy.  We worked hard on learning how to nurse together.  And when you looked up at me with those big, full, aware eyes, and then gently put your teeny tiny hand on my cheek I cried big happy tears.  My goodness, I fell in love with you over and over that night.  You didn't want to sleep unless you were snuggled against my chest, so we snuggled and snoozed and fell in love.

I love you from the top of your head- with your sleek, soft hair- to your big, chubby, dimpled cheeks- to your snowman shaped fingers- to your big, giggly belly- to your precious baby thighs full of wrinkles, rolls, and dimples- all the way down to your fat little feet and wiggly toes.  I love how you pull up with determination, how you still love to snuggle with mommy, how you laugh with delight at each picture in books.  I love your rolling belly laugh, your giant smile, and your zest for life.  Sunshine, my precious son.  YOU. ARE. SUNSHINE.

They say that the firstborn tricks the parents into having more children.  Son, you could trick me into having 10 more babies!  You are just so easy.  So easy-going.  So happy.  Your wild sister, she brings us LIFE in a way that is crazy, zestful, and joyful.  You, son, you bring us LIFE in a way that is simple, uncomplicated, and pure.  You are the ying to her crazy yang.  You are the peanut butter to her jelly.  You bring her balance.  She will love you (and probably not love you too) for that.

My sweet boy.  It's hard to imagine that one day you will have big man hands.  That you will fall in love and a woman will TAKE YOU AWAY from your first love (mommy, of course).  After having a son I understand mother-in-laws a whole lot better.  All I can say is, she'd better treat you right.  Because after all, even when I look at you with your big man hands, you tower in height above me, and you speak in a deep voice, all I will see is your chubby snowman fingers, your tiny body curling up in my lap, and your high pitched squeals of delight.

Little Baby A, I love you so much I feel like I could burst.
My precious Joseph Nathaniel- I pray you would always be "God will give" to people, and also "God's gift" to people.
I love you so very much my sweet son,