Sunday, January 18, 2015

My little baby bee

Dear, sweet, drama filled baby B,

We prayed so hard that God would give us the opportunity to be parents. Then the test said "Pregnant" and we were overjoyed. And then the doctor said five little words that changed our lives. "And here's a second sack." Sweet baby B, I've never seen your daddy without words before. But he was speechless. And mommy was shocked too. 

In my tummy you were the feisty one. I could always count on you to give some good kicks for my students to feel. You were a night owl when it came to kicks, and you are still all smiles when you're up late. As I looked down at you today I remembered the hospital. You see, precious girl, you went to the NICU an hour after you were born and mommy didn't see you for a whole day and a half. That meant she had a lot of extra time to fall in love with your brother. And he got mommy all by himself. By the time you came life was a whirlwind. We left the hospital, and started our new crazy existence as a family of four. You had a severe tongue tie, so you couldn't nurse either. That meant mommy continued to have a lot of extra time with brother. And she wondered secretly if she'd ever have the same bond with you as she did your brother. She felt so guilty. 

Baby B, my sweet Kenzie girl, I am here today to tell you that I do. It's not the same as your brother because you are very different little people, but it is equal. People may not realize how much joy you bring us. That's because you always give mommy good material to write about. Some friends of ours have nicknamed you "Candelita". In Spanish this translates as little spitfire. 

My little bit, you do bring us joy. You bring us SO. MUCH. JOY. Your feistiness makes mommy crazy, but it also makes her smile. I love your overjoyed, yet mischievous smile when you wake up early from a nap and I come to get you. I love your face as you concentrate on grabbing a toy, or untying ribbons on your crib, or getting your arm out of your car seat. You are so determined. You took longer to smile, and then to laugh than your brother. But when we get a smile and a laugh from you it's so very rewarding because you make us work for it.  

I think people might feel that I prefer your brother.  But that is absolutely not true. I love every single bit of your crazy.  You are hysterical.  You are joy.  You are life, 100%, full on, and you feel it with every fiber of your being.  I adore your determination (even though sometimes it makes me crazy).  I enjoy your naughtiness, as you pull your brother's paci out of his mouth and put it in yours (even though your own is right there attached to your shirt), as you spend the first part of naptime untying your DOUBLE KNOTTED crib ribbons (how?!), as you pick up food and then toss it on the floor... You are going to be the one I have to correct, while at the same time turning my head around so you can't see my laughter.  

Speaking of untying double knots, sweet Baby B, you are so smart!  You started crying while mommy tutors.  As soon as the girls step in the direction of the room she's in you stop.  Now, that lasted for a few weeks.  And I mean full on, 45 minutes of passionate crying.  But now here is what you do:  you look at the girls and give one good yell, "WAAAAAA!", then turn your head and look at the room where mommy is.  You crazy girl.  It scares me how smart you are.  

My sweet girl, my candelita, cray-cray, Kenzie Boo, Boo Bear-- thank you.  Thank you for bringing life into the house in a way mommy, daddy, and brother cannot.  Thank you for being nothing more and nothing less than absolutely, perfectly YOU.  

We love you so, little bee,

<originally started on November 14, 2014: the anniversary of the day we found out there was a Baby A AND a Baby B>